Air Travel

Air travel today is something left to be desired... I'm the son of an AA retiree who's been flying since age 6. It used to be a real experience! You dressed well.You smoked 'em if you had 'em onboard (not so great), there were real lounges some with pianos with celebrities at the keys. People seemed happier and friendler. It really was something to be a jet setter... you were hip and it was a luxury that actually felt luxurious! In 1st class you got slippers,robes, pipes... kids got toys and tours... The flight attendants were drop dead gorgeous...the captain Pointed out points of interest as you flew over them. it sometimes felt like the flight itself was the vacation or destination. Family and friends waved bye to you from the gate... 

Today? We fly in fear. I just left an island the size of my block the plane fit six passengers... they went through my bag like and old lady looking for exact change in the grocery Store, Then patted me down without as much as a I'll call you later... I had to ask "y'all had Twin Towers too"?
On the connecting the flight the attendants names were Nana and gramps and they used the food carts as walkers "Would you like my teeth, I mean ice in your cocktail" ...The screaming children were given bullhorns. After being body scanned, bag scanned & searched, crotch invaded, reclined on, coughed on,kicked from behind, and pitched to, most of which was before i even boarded the aircraft. I felt like a Hunts Point Hooker on Holiday (if you're from NYC you know what I'm saying) I fly at least 30 times a year, the only thing that has stayed the same is change... Some for better some for worse.

Airline companies are merging or disappearing (PAN AM, TWA, Busters Crop Dusters etc.) Whole planes are disappearing, being shot at,missing each other by yards over airfields... Airports have turned into malls with planes and are constantly expanding. The personal touches are gone, the prices are higher...Sometime I wish Greyhound had wings or better yet I had wings... There would be no need to go through Atlanta unless I was going to Atlanta. I'd be in better physical shape and wouldn't worry about sitting next to someone who needed a seatbelt extender and half of my seat to enjoy their mini bag of nuts...
I want to enjoy my nuts too damn it ...Just sayin'... 

And when these flyin cars start taking off whoever's Ridin' shotgun better have polygrip!