Monday, June 1, 2020

Pandemic Blog #1

It's the last Sunday of May 2020. The world has changed since my last blog. Derrick Eason is not in the road Derrick Eason is on the couch!

 Having chosen a profession that relies on the very things that may kill you and I (I thought it would be the jokes) I must find another way to die.
 Yelling at a cop in between gasps of pepper spray on the front lines of a four hundred year systematic problem?
 Alone in the woods or hunkered down somewhere with loved ones, toilet paper and jigsaw puzzles at the ready? Maybe I'll stand less than six feet to everyone and close talk calming quotes to strangers.

  I prefer the old fashioned stand on a stage in a crowded room and spout brain waves. it was fun and the crowded rooms seem to enjoy it too. I did the killing, lot less people died some times just me there was the occasional spittle that flew from my face. I called it a souvenir, again no tests or quarantine necessary. the audience graciously ignored my airborne mucus some slightly adjusted their seating while chuckling.
  Today one must be much more creative and tech savvy in sending amoebas to patrons and sating the need to destroy hecklers. I'm working on it.

Thursday, March 19, 2020

First Cruise of the Year!

 Well the first quarter of 2020 alone quickly trumped the whole of 2019

I'm once again on board a Carnival cruise ship (the Fascination) out of Galveston,TX.

 I did a 10:30 half hour set, watched the ball drop in NY, called my wife and finished packing my bags. I had to be on another ship (the Fantasy) out of Mobile,AL. on the first and I had a long travel day ahead of me. Traveling in the Gulf, I never know what to expect so without expectations I'm rarely yet often pleasantly surprised. not this day.

 From Costa Maya, Mexico to Houston, Texas not bad. I miss the connecting flight to Mobile. At 7 pm It's the last of the night. I have to overnight in Houston. Customer service re-book flight, find a hotel, get to the hotel. It's the wrong hotel. Same name wrong end of the road and Texas has some long ass roads. I Get to the room by 9:30 pm. order take out. delivery person has no change. I say "I'll wait!". I have a 7 am flight Alabama I'm back at the airport at 5 am. The place is empty and the fog is thick, so thick that the flight doesn't leave till noon. I'm the last crew member on board. I have an  11:30 pm show. I'm heckled by a front row redneck named Tubby. The ship never leaves the dock due to the fog.

 Tubby the heckler showed his worth. Next night I'm watching my colleague's set. She goes into crossover material (jokes with same subject, premise or concept). Tubby used that time that I would've used that material. She needed it more than I did. A fresh to cruising young Jewish lesbian from NY on a ship out of Mobile, Alabama! She need every bit she had.
  Gemma our #punchlinercomedyclub manager is a natural comedian. She's a test tube baby from Singapore. She says "I had a womb with a view". You know they didn't get it!

 We were going to Progresso and Cozumel Mexico. It becomes a cruise to nowhere. My cold is in full effect but manageable. the ship is in the north gulf of Mexico. it's cold, the seas are rough and full of whitecaps. The skies are gray and brittle. I stay in my cabin as much as possible. seems this ship has a bug also as most of the crew display the same symptoms as I. Ships are incubators and hold whatever germs are brought aboard well for all to share. I spend as much time as possible in fresh air on the open decks away from people. Great practice for what was soon to come.

Monday, January 20, 2020

Refocusing in 2020

Forgive me friend for I have sinned,

It's been five years since the last post. Ten years since the first.

Happy 2020.

 Half a Decade! I'm minus forty pounds, plus a poodle and some metal in my spine . I have been thrown back to the streets reconnected with the roots of what and why I do it.

 The cruise industry has been very very good to me. When immersed it's thoroughly rewarding and extremely isolating add the buffet and never ending pizza, I ate Complacent lazy gravy and lost my drive. Not hungry enough, I lost ground at sea.

I begin the second decade of the second millennium doing' open mics, local gigs, teaching a stand up comedy workshop and upping my writing and networking skills. Create! That's what I'll do, I'll create, with the addition of 30 years of experience. Restructure and reroute. Create that brand.

It's all new again... 11:45 and I'm waiting for four minutes.

I'm zippin' up my boots!
Goin" back to my roots!

Saturday, January 17, 2015


Mexico is a great place to enjoy the tropics. It's a place where the dollar is still alive. At an exchange of between 11 to one an American can live like El Rey... Still dont drink the water !
Today's Mexico is bottled... Montezuma's revenge is an Old School souvenir. You can experience bespoke life or real small fishing village Mexico, which for me is the better way to see and feel Mexico. 
My first experience was as a young boy traveling with my mother... Acapulco, Taxico, Ixtapa on the west coast.. Amazing.... To the point where I had to meet mom at the airport... She was furious... I think I was 13... first time out in another country... I was lucky to meet people who were awesome and took me to the airport.
I later had a girlfriend who took me to Cancun... A broke struggling actor I jumped at the chance. I had $25 in my pocket and didn't look back. We stayed at El Pueblito... Went to my first Sr Frogs. 

These days working on cruise ships I go to Mexico about once a month... I've been to Tiahuana, Mexico City, Cabo San Lucas, Puerto Vallarta, Encinada, Mazatlan, Playa Del Carmen, Cozumel and Progresso which is Spanish for Italian soup, and a few others I can't remember at this time. My Spanish still sucks. Some of my favorite eateries in the world are in Cozumel... La Perlita ( for the ultimate Seafood ), Wet Wendy's & The Thirsty Cougar ( for the ultimate Margaritas ), Three Amigos and No Name Bar for the crew connects... All good spots... 
Wet Wendy's and The Cougar owned by my friends Clara & Chad former cruise employees themselves ... If you get there ya gotta tell 'em... Sr. Tortuga sent you!

Three Amigos

                                                                         La Perlita

                                                                     Wet Wendy's

Sunday, December 28, 2014


I'm blessed to have been born in Brooklyn... To be a Brooklynite. 
To most people it's a place of myths and dreams... The other part of New York they wanted to visit.. but didn't... Where the Kings Hip Hop are born.. One of the most famous bridges of the world... Lives there. 

I know so many people who have "been" to NYC and never crossed that bridge. Most folks go to Manhattan's Times Square and think they've seen NYC, which couldn't be further from the truth... That's like going to the moon and saying you've explored the universe. You ain't seen nothin',an' Ya been Nowhere! 
New York City is a city of islands... Brooklyn is on the edge of one of 'em...The 4th largest city in This Country! You can live in the projects, you can live on the beach, you can live in a penthouse, you can live on the street. It's all available. As far as American towns go BK is the place of legend. I think more celebrities have been born in Brooklyn than any other... Home of the Huxtables, the Cramdens the Bunkers and yes the Flintstone's (Bedrock was Brooklyn).
When I tell people I'm from Brooklyn faces change... Eyebrows go up, eyes widen, smiles appear as if to say " Wow, I finally met someone from Brooklyn"... Then they ask "Are you really from Brooklyn?" Sometimes someone says... " Hey Me Too!!!" at which time I'll say "What Part!!!" and it starts... It feels good... like meeting another club member.... We Compare notes,check high schools, streets, old haunts and memories becoming kindred spirits as we realize how far we've come or gone from Brooklyn. Like me, so many have moved to live in other cities so we speak with nostalgia on our tongues and a love in our eyes That's so obvious see and feel. For short periods of time we transport each other back in time to better days... It can start with the mention of a neighborhood or a street. Most recently it was Legion St. Sometimes it was Eastern Pkwy or Nostrand ave or Linden Blvd... I meet a lot of people from Canarsie where I graduated HS while living in Starrett City... Flatbush is often mentioned where I lived in the junction across from Brooklyn College. I was born in Bedford Stuyvesant (Bed-Sty) at St. John's hospital. First stop was St Marks Ave then we moved to Ebbets Field on Bedford Ave in Crown Heights. Honorable mention to Red Hook, Williamsburg, & East New York.
I've lived in many cities and states since then but wherever I was, I repped Brooklyn. My traveling has softened my accent but after a couple of beers it goes backondablock.
I still dream of living in Park Slope... I still lament when a summer passes without visiting Nathan's at Coney Island... I live in Philly now... An hour and a half away. Its close... It's close enough.
These days I live for love and that takes me all over the world... I keep Brooklyn in my heart.
There will always be a part of me that lives in Brooklyn... 
Wherever I am... It's who I am. Will it ever leave?
Yo Fagetaboubit!!!
believe that... I got a bridge I wanna sell Ya !

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Air Travel

Air travel today is something left to be desired... I'm the son of an AA retiree who's been flying since age 6. It used to be a real experience! You dressed well.You smoked 'em if you had 'em onboard (not so great), there were real lounges some with pianos with celebrities at the keys. People seemed happier and friendler. It really was something to be a jet setter... you were hip and it was a luxury that actually felt luxurious! In 1st class you got slippers,robes, pipes... kids got toys and tours... The flight attendants were drop dead gorgeous...the captain Pointed out points of interest as you flew over them. it sometimes felt like the flight itself was the vacation or destination. Family and friends waved bye to you from the gate... 
Today? We fly in fear. I just left an island the size of my block the plane fit six passengers... they went through my bag like and old lady looking for exact change in the grocery Store, Then patted me down without as much as a I'll call you later... I had to ask "y'all had Twin Towers too"?
On the connecting the flight the attendants names were Nana and gramps and they used the food carts as walkers "Would you like my teeth, I mean ice in your cocktail" ...The screaming children were given bullhorns. After being body scanned, bag scanned & searched, crotch invaded, reclined on, coughed on,kicked from behind, and pitched to, most of which was before i even boarded the aircraft. I felt like a Hunts Point Hooker on Holiday (if you're from NYC you know what I'm saying) I fly at least 30 times a year, the only thing that has stayed the same is change... Some for better some for worse.
Airline companies are merging or disappearing (PAN AM, TWA, Busters Crop Dusters etc.) Whole planes are disappearing, being shot at,missing each other by yards over airfields... Airports have turned into malls with planes and are constantly expanding. The personal touches are gone, the prices are higher...Sometime I wish Greyhound had wings or better yet I had wings... There would be no need to go through Atlanta unless I was going to Atlanta. I'd be in better physical shape and wouldn't worry about sitting next to someone who needed a seatbelt extender and half of my seat to enjoy their mini bag of nuts...
I want to enjoy my nuts too damn it ...Just sayin'... 
And when these flyin cars start taking off whoever's Ridin' shotgun better have polygrip!